July 5, 2024
Icarus by Lee Krasner
I like to think that every human being who’s reached a certain age of responsibility has, at least once, failed to complete all of their “assigned” tasks.
Maybe it’s a family thing.
Maybe it’s a health thing.
Maybe it’s just taking on too much, and realizing that there are limits.
Today, I’ve reached my limit. What should have been today’s post – about a lovely new Echo scarf – will be released tomorrow…
Many of you know that my household is busy and full of caregiving, and ALL of you know that this caregiving is more important to me than anything else. As it would be for you, and as it should be for all of us.
That’s why I don’t lose sleep on these days when I have to postpone…
much love,
Janice
p.s. Would you be completely flipped out if I used the painting at the top for next year’s “brown-based” 12 month wardrobe? I’m fascinated by the idea of brown that’s not really “earthy…”
p.p.s. Ten years ago, I warned you that the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is on the horizon (you can’t believe how much bloggers are pushed to write about this thing…), and I shared with you the brilliant site Raise.com, where you can find discounted gift cards!
p.p.p.s.
You are the owner of this blog. You have complete control over the planning, the schedule, the content. As a regular reader, I do not expect posts at set dates or intervals, I’m just happy to read anything you post, whenever you post.
Please don’t sweat it: take care of yourself and your family, your faitful readers will wait for you. Indeed, why should you worry or lose sleep over self-assigned tasks. There’s no need for it.
Ditto!!!! 100%!
AGREED TO THE ABOVE!!! Getting rest and caring for the caregiver is most important! Brown for next year? YES!!!! Sending healing thoughts to you and your family. xx
Totally agree! Take care of yourself and your mom. Thats what is most important. We will still be here for you when you’re ready to come back. Be that tomorrow or however long you might need.
Much love, and best wishes to you and yours!
Agreed!!!
You couldn’t have expressed it better.
You should feel no pressure whatsoever from your adoring and grateful “tribe”, Janis!! Family first!
Oh, dear. Mis-spelled your name!
Not at all! Please prioritize your care-giving duties and don’t worry about us. We’ll still be here.
I think that painting would be great for the 12 month wardrobe – coffee brown with plum (or maybe it’s magenta?) and pumpkin? I’m down for that.
Of course you need to do what’s best for you and yours! Take care of your family and yourself first. We’ll be here when you’re back.
This painting is an interesting idea for a wardrobe. I can imagine it for a trip or maybe even a season. I think only you could pull off creating an entire yearly wardrobe from this.
I love the coffee button. Hats off to Angela in Australia for suggesting it.
Those of us of a certain age totally understand the caregiving situation. Take care of you when you can. ❤️
You’re so right to take a break, girl, and take care of your self as well as your loved ones :-)
You give us so much inspiration through your blog, that we readers have plenty to catch up on!
And YES, as a wearer of browns, greens, and oranges, a brown based wardrobe using the Icarus painting theme (great painting) would be fab and could be lots of fun… and I’ve been thinking of purple…
All the best from jubilant and changing Britain!
Take care of your family who needs you more, and be sure to take care of yourself. Have loved your posts for years!!! Thank you!!!!
All of the above. Be kind to yourself.
As a warm autumn, I’d love more earthy tones.
Completely appreciate the importance of caregiving and the need to just say “enough”, I need a little bit of space or energy or quiet just for myself.
All the best from an England/UK that has totally changed overnight .. it’s going to be an interesting ride.
Ditto all the previous comments AND don’t forget to take of yourself! Oh and – brown is good.
Janice, your priorities are absolutely correct. I cared for my mother for 12, and postponed, cancelled and just plain quit so many things that would have required me to make her care secondary. No apologies or forgiveness necessary- you are doing what is right.
I agree, Janice! Your people come first (that includes you), and we the readers have plenty of closet work to do while we’re not reading. 😆
Hugs!
Camille
Don’t worry about it! Family comes first and you do what you need to do. Please don’t stress about it.
I really like the painting and it would be a fun 12 month project!
Many of us have, are or will be in caregiver roles. It can be exhausting. We understand the importance of taking care of the caregiver. Be kind to yourself.
The Icarus scarf palette would be interesting, and I think we’ll see brown becoming popular again. I like giving us readers a preview of ideas you’re considering for next year’s 12 months. A quick and easy post to keep in your back pocket when you’re pressed for time.
I absolutely agree with what everyone else has said. I’m just beginning the caregiving journey and am already feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I can’t even imagine all you do and feel. Of course we will be here waiting when you get back to us.
The scarf is lovely and I can’t wait to see what you do with it. The painting is also a beautiful color combo and would make an intreaguing wardrobe inspiration. Thank you for sharing so many wonderful ideas!
I agree with the comments above. As for the wardrobe, it isn’t my colors, but it does remind me of what life can be sometimes! Take care.
Always put your family obligations first.
Now, about that brown-based capsule – go for it! As I have hit 70, I find that black is perhaps too harsh even for my own brown skin. I have moved towards including brown, or various tones of brown, into my basic black/white capsule. I would love to see ways to keep it from being boring. The scarf is interesting.
It’s always nice to see that someone has their priorities right.
And I’m already imagining this painting in next year’s 12 month wardrobe :-)
Of course family always comes first in my world and glad and happy the same is in yours 🫶.
Hope all works out well and prayers are said for you and yours❤️.
Please take the time for yourself as well.
Be well.
Regina
Please! Whatever you have to do.
No one’s going to be upset. There’s nothing to forgive!
Yes to brown of any shade.
Actually, I do get a couple of snarky emails about “I shouldn’t have a blog if I can’t maintain it regularly” and “your personal life should not interfere with your work.”
Seriously, I hear these things. Sigh…
hugs,
Janice
Ugh – trolls. Real people understand you too are a real person and have responsibilities other than entertaining the internet. Hope your family is ok.
I get some shockingly rude emails! People dictating what they think I should post, what brands they want me to include, what kinds of things I should quit including etc. etc.
Happily, my ability to ignore things like that is well-developed!
hugs,
Janice
Well…those people can go fly a kite.
Your tribe gets it and they understands.
I am genuinely shocked to hear that.
Caring is so important and so hard, and often unpredictable. You deserve support, not criticism.
Alex, Isle of Wight, England.
That’s nuts and rude. They just need to find a different blog. I agree total what Miss Agnes says at the top. I am happy whenever you send a blog out, I love them all and feel so appreciative that you take the time and effort to share your expertise. The heck with trolls.
Janice,
So glad to hear you know how to ignore ignorant remarks. Family first, always. If you worked for a company or government agency you would be able to take time to handle family matters. There are even laws such as FMLA in the US that support this. As the CEO of your own brand, you get to set the standards for your work. Please know that many of your readers support you and have realistic expectations regarding when and how you share your insights with us. You have a great catalog of posts to revisit if anyone needs a fix. Yes to the brown !
Love your dedication and your priorities. Go and do and be what you need to. I, for one, am grateful for every post, whenever you grace us with them.
Yes to Icarus! My heart leaped when I saw those rich colors. Can’t wait to see what you do with them.
Sasha Obama, as a child, wore a winter outfit with this unusual color combination to her dad’s first inauguration— and I still think about it! Would love to see the wardrobe you make out of these colors. Looking forward to it!
I hope you and your family have a good and restful day together. I know caregiving can take a lot of energy and effort. Blessings to you!
Each post you make is a GIFT to us, and you are under no obligation to us. People who complain are way out of line. Please take as much time as you need. Your faithful readers will be here.
PS ten years ago I was in the midst of moving across the country. I’m now enjoying the posts I missed reading then.
1. Family first — always.
2. Yes to all of the above.
3. Trolls are a**holes. (Yes, a reader of the Vivienne Files may be crude, when appropriate.)
4. No need to ask for forgiveness from your followers. But forgive yourself for not getting to everything you wanted to get to. (I’m working on that too.)
All of the above. I’m always amazed at how often you post, at the depth of your posts, and at the thinking you force (encourage) me to do. It’s even beyond belief that you are generous enough to apologize for being late! Keep your family’s and your health uppermost; we can wait.
And I need to figure out how to update my photo!
And I need to figure out how to add a photo! Anyone…help, please.
Take care of yourself first.
Janice, you need to take of you. Having been the sole caregiver during the time my late husband was suffering with ALS, I still had to work full time. I found that there were times I literally was walking in circles. I was pulled in too many directions and something had to give. I had nothing left for anyone. You take the time you need.
Completely agree with everyone else! Take all the time you need – we’ll be here when you’re ready.
Family should always come first!
With that said, I would love a non-earthy brown wardrobe with red violet accents based on that painting for next year. I think it would be fabulous!
Always here for anything you post. Taking care of loved ones is always the most important thing you can do ❤️ I love the colors in the graphic, please do a wardrobe in those when you can. All the best wishes to you.
Janice,
Just know that you are already doing the very best that you can and that family comes first, always !! Get some rest, please — caretakers wear out too, as you well know ! We’ll be here when you decide to return, but meanwhile, take as long as you need to !
As for browns, you know that I’m all in ! On my monitor I also see warm white, rusts and maybe a bit of burgundy ?
I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers .
Yes, indeed. Family first. Caring for yourself at the top of the list. Love all your posts though I don’t comment every time. Trolls are “unclear on the concept”!
Janice, agree with all of the above. The painting looks like it would make for a very interesting wardrobe. Take care of yourself. I appreciate all that you do as I’m sure we all do.
Good for you! A great example for all of us! So easy to over extend! No apologies necessary – love you and your postings – you are my heroine! Love the scarf, use it :)
As caregiver to my husband for more than 10 years (Parkinson’s/dementia, etc), I relate totally to your feelings. Definitely, family first. It’s hard to imagine what caregiving entails unless you have done it. You do an amazing job guiding us through the intricacies of the current fashion web, and I most appreciate it. Brown is a color I love—can’t wait what you will come up with in the future using brown and the beautiful colors in the painting above. Every one of your post is honey to our imagination!
Caregiving is more than a 24 hour a day job. If writing your blog sometimes gives you a few moments of normalcy and relief, do it. Otherwise, put it aside for short or longer periods of time.
It really is OK to make your family and yourself your priority.
Duchesse takes time off from her blog every summer and winter; and if I remember correctly, a few years ago when she took on another job, she wrote somewhat irregularly. Obviously, I and many others enjoy her blog when she writes, understand her need for breaks, and await her return with anticipation. I believe most of your readers have similar feelings about your blog.
As for the snarky comments, I suppose every public figure is now a target for remarks from some overly entitled folks who have too little to do. It is hard not to take personally remarks that were made very personally. Just remember that those remarks indicate more about the person who made them than about you.
As a wise man told me: Drink water. Breathe. Peace.
Of course. While I was caretaking, working, studying etc., etc….. your blog provided a few minutes of downtime for myself that I treasured. Thank you.
I love the painting and have brown trousers and a cardigan that I should like but find the outfit boring. So looking forward to your ideas as to how I could jazz them up.
Finally, I have concluded that some people are just nasty and are to be pitied. Long ago a cricket coach said to me, who was batting, after a foul ball was bowled to me “You need to treat those with the contempt they deserve and ignore them.” I have since applied that thought to many situations.
Caregiving is a labor of love, and it is an exhausting job. Please take care of yourself, too, dear Janice.
I am not a fan of brown, but that scarf would make a fabulous jumping off point for a wardrobe. Hope to see it in 2025!
No forgiveness needed Janice.
I’m glad you get to prioritise you and yours above all and hope you get to enjoy time out for you too.
A much belated happy birthday and happy 4th July to you.
Appreciate all your posts, templates and series over the years. Take care.
I can only add that I agree wholeheartedly with what everyone else already said.
I too looked after my mother for many year and I know now that taking time out when you need to is exactly what you should do. It is what you need to do. No apology required.
You have to take care of yourself to be able to care of someone else.
Isn’t there a saying about putting your on oxygen on first before someone else’s. I’ve forgotten how it goes but the sentiment is look after you so you can look after others. Something like that.
Love your blog and have enjoyed following you since 2019. I really love the Icarus by Lee Krasner picture. Hope you do decide to use it. Can imagine it being a great source of brilliantly clever beautiful ideas. As per usual.
Take care if you.
Best regards,
Susan
Nearly forgot to say.
Blog whenever you want to and only when you want to.
Don’t feel under pressure to do anymore than you are able to do.
Ignore the idiots who send nasty emails they don’t count at all.
Regards
Susan
Nothing to forgive. Care-giving takes top priority. I was hoping that you’d use that painting for a colour scheme. I’ve bought you a coffee because if anyone deserves to put their feet up, its you.
Looking forward to a brown wardrobe :-).
I can only echo all the supportive comments from posters who beat me to it! It’s VERY obvious that this blog takes a lot of time to put together and I’m constantly in awe of the many hints and tips I get from your comments/postings. Take care of yourself and your loved ones FIRST! I look like death warmed over if I wear brown of any shade near my face but I still love this scarf – it’s the purple calling to me I guess.
I also forgot to say, bless your husband for being a caregiver, that is one of the most difficult jobs out there. You are wonderful to support him anyway you can. We will always wait with patience.
It was HIS idea that we all move in together – we had two one-bedroom apartments in the same building, and he thought that it would be much easier if we were all in together. Amazing man…
hugs,
Janice
What a blessing a supportive husband is to an already hard journey. Most of your readers are ready and willing to be just as understanding and supportive. There is enough ugly in the world, we get a reprieve here! Thank you for sharing your kind and caring ways!!
Love and hugs. Take all the time you need. Your on-line “family” understands that life is not always easy, and the lovIng care you provide for your dear ones trumps the blog every time.
I was a nursing assistant and home health aide for five years, working with people rehabbing from surgeries, dementia and memory care, end of life care, hospice, you name it.
I have also been a full time mother for 23 years. I have also cared for aging and ill grandparents and parents.
It is not easy. It can be exhausting. Knowing when to give yourself a break is extremely important. Learning to prioritize what truly matters to you and your family is a huge step in giving yourself the grace to accomplish what is needed and let all the other stuff go.
Hey! It’s not unlike editing a wardrobe in a way! Pick your important stuff (color scheme, theme, cuts and silhouettes ,etc) stick with it. The same concept can apply to other areas of life too. Hugs!
Catch your breath……you never have to apologize to us…….hugs to you…..….❤️
100% agree with the comments above – we thank you for sharing, understand your priorities, and hope that you find support in the community you have built. The brown with plum and orange and maybe magenta sounds great!
Only thing I didn’t see in the comments so far: thank you for letting us know that you are deviating from your schedule! Not because you are obligated to, but because we worry about you when we notice something out of the ordinary. I remember a missed post a few years ago, a lot of us were posting hoping everything was okay. You have really built a warm community, I hope you also feel our good wishes for you!!