August 30, 2024
“Let’s Go Away…
for the weekend to the spa up in the next state. It’s not a long drive, and we can spend the weekend sitting in a pool in our room, or walking around the grounds, or getting massages…”
She’s not handling grief nearly as well as she thought she would; a break might be nice…
earrings – Nellou Jewellery; bracelets – Fierce Lynx Designs; sweater – L.L.Bean; tee shirt – Lands’ End; corduroy pants – Lands’ End; weekender bag – Brahmin; loafers – AGL
She’s pretty sure she knows what she will wear for the ride, and she has every intention of wearing the robe provided by the spa much of the time. Still, she will need something to wear to at least get back and forth to the treatment rooms or to walk around.
w Green sweatshirt – L.L.Bean; smoky quartz earrings – Primal Silver; scarves – Uniqlo; brown thermal top – Old Navy; chamois shirt – L.L.Bean; white shorts – Lands’ End; white pants – Lands’ End; purple sweatshirt – Vineyard Vines; slippers – Lands’ End
She thinks that planning her wardrobe around the bracelets gifted to her by a dear friend might be just the ticket. She will wear her bracelets every day…
She’s frankly not too concerned about how she dresses while she’s there. She hasn’t worried about how she’s dressed for weeks and weeks… But in the back of her mind, she knows that packing with a coherent plan will give her effortless dressing while she’s away:
Everybody needs a break, and a little bit of spoiling, every now and then…
love,
Janice
p.s. Ten years ago, we checked to see if mauve accents would look okay with a wardrobe of taupe, navy and light blue. Hint: it does!
Like this wardrobe? Save it to Pinterest!
It sounds as if you are learning to walk with grief. Me too. Spa weekends, a friend’s gift, clothes that feel like a hug will all contribute to your wellbeing, enjoy them without guilt. Apart from the shorts I love this wardrobe. It’s cosy and comforting. Sending you a hug
“Clothes that feel like a hug” is a great way to put this. Virtual hugs to Janice and every other heroine who could use one today!
My heart goes out to you, Janice. Grief does what it does and there is no easy way. Thinking of you.
Hugs to you Janice. It’s so challenging to lose a parent. I adore that first LLBean sweater, and that Brahmin bag! SWOON! Love the colors of this, it does really look like it belongs at a spa. I wish. Happy Friday everyone
Very pretty colors.
I would play a bit with the brightness of the colors, for example. Pack a light & dark brown top and complement and replace it with a dark purple or green. And when it gets cooler, pack a skirt instead of shorts.
Even if I eat at the hotel, I want to look good.
…hugs…
Sending you lots of hugs Janice. Grief can surprise us, so it’s important to be gentle and kind to ourselves.
I don’t ever wear these colours, but that bracelet is magical, along with the wardrobe to go with it.
There is serenity in this palette, perfect for a quiet weekend of self-care. Grieving has its own timeline, which I’m finding out as I move through the process myself. Hugs and take care.
Lovely, soft, snuggly clothes to grieve in. Hugs and many thanks for sharing your talents.
I love this color palette. I definitely need more purple in my life. I am working on building a wardrobe for my retired, stay at home life.
Beautiful wardrobe and colours. I’m wishing you this pamper weekend. It’s time that heals but sweet distractions can be a help. Big hug.
This wardrobe is beautiful. Grief will have its way with us, as I well know. Sending healing thoughts and hugs every day.
Janice,
What lovely soothing colors ! Allow yourself lots of time to heal, Janice, you are only in the infancy of your healing process , so allow yourself lots of self care ! Love and big long hugs !
this post tweaked my heartstrings. I hope you find comfort in this soft, cuddly wardrobe.
*Hugs you so hard.* Getting pampered sounds like the perfect thing right now. Let yourself be taken care of, and coddled, and cuddled, and kept warm and fuzzy for as long as you need.
We are all here for you when you need words of encouragement. But sometimes it’s those physical things that really ground you back into reality when grief traps you in your own mind.
It’s ok to grieve. It takes as long as it takes. Months. Years. However long is right for you is right for you.
And remember that it’s also ok to let the grieving end and to not hold on to it. It will not be hurting your loved one in any way to eventually let yourself heal. They loved you too. They wouldn’t want you hurting.
Looking at this bracelet, and the colors in it…soothing purples and greens, comforting browns, and cool, uplifting whites, I think it’s a perfect reminder of everything you are going through, and everything that your friends and the loved ones who are still here (and yes, even the ones who are gone) wish for you.
Much love and fierce healing Janice. Hugs!
Have a wonderful spa weekend. The bracelet is so lovely and if you read about it you know why Alison came up with these stones. How thoughtful.
“she’s not handling grief nearly as well as she thought she would.”
You don’t handle grief. It handles you. Being gentle with yourself is an excellent way to start. Hugs.
My mom died a year ago. I came here to comment on how important it is to just let the grieving process happen… And the first comment I read was by a person named cm burgess, which was my mother’s name.
Warm hugs from Hawaii.
My Mum died in the last year too. I was her primary care giver for some years prior to her death. The loss of the person is one thing, the loss of the role, though a relief, is another. There is a big space.
One thing that has helped is realising that grief is love with no where to go. We grieve because we loved. The love we felt now has no recipient so it stays within us, a tight knot that hurts. Just remember that that painful knot is due to love.
In the meantime enjoy the little things of life that give joy, the coffee with friends, the spas, the chats, the smiles from a grandchild, the cuddly clothes, pleasure in colours that sing, pleasure in singing too, though I’d frighten anyone who heard me.
Hugs to all who need a hug today.
So well stated and exactly how I felt loosing my Mom two years ago. And some of those thoughts brought me comfort as well! My Dad passed six years prior to my Mom and sometimes she would say to his spirit, “I will see you some morning”. I utter those same words to her now and it brings a sense of hope. Your relationship with your Mom has not ended, just changed. Many hugs!!
I lost my oldest sister seven years ago, and the grief is still handling me. I hope you find some comfort in your spa weekend. Sending hugs!
Hugs to Janice and all who are carrying grief along with them. I, too, lost both parents in the last few years and I’m currently a caregiver for an elderly relative. There are many words of wisdom in these posts,thank you to all. My grief has been like a series of scents. Sometimes it is a soft hint of a scent that wafts away quickly and other times the scent is overpowering and needs something to chase it away like an open window or fan. Sometimes you need to embrace the intense scent like it is coffee or a favorite perfume. As time passes, there are more soft scents than harsh ones. Grief will always be there, but the intensity changes over time. These comfy clothes and the planned change of scenery are great tools to knock back the intensity a bit.
Thinking of you Janice. Losing someone close to you is devastating. Praying for rest and respite in between the waves of grief.
I hope “she” has a lovely weekend and allows herself time to find peace and rest. Never let anyone make you feel you must rush your grief, just remember your Vivienne family is here to support you in your journey.
BTW, lovely wardrobe. How generous of you to continue to bring such joy to all of us.
Grief comes in waves that are hard to predict. Some spa pampering sounds lovely. Sending supportive thoughts your way.
I’ve been smothered by the grief of losing my first born. I am paralized. I came here because I need change. Changing my wardrobe is something I can handle. Thank you for sharing 🩷
OMG. Sending so much love…
Janice
Dot, I am so so sorry to read this. Please accept this internet stranger’s most sincere condolences.
Janice, my heart is just breaking for you. When I lost my husband, my world completely collapsed. When I lost my big sister a few months later, it was as the already collapsed world now buried me under it. Handling grief is not something we do. Grief handles us. Getting away is a good idea, but remember that grief does come in waves. A change of scenery can be enough to get that first toe-hold out of the pit. But it is a complex process, so be kind to yourself.
On a different note, if anyone is interested, Lands’ End is having a massive Labor Day sale… Lots of fall stuff.
Sending you virtual hugs, Janice. No matter how often you hear the supposedly comforting platitudes that come after someone dies who was very old , grief still hurts. It gets you when you least expect it. I can imagine that your days have lost some of their structure that was focused on caring for your Mum. Perhaps there are things that you could continue doing just to relax and be kind to yourself. If you read to her, take time in your day to read.
You and your husband will need to find a new rhythm for living which takes time. He will be grieving too and he will be concerned about you. Don’t hide your grief, give it space to work itself out. Cherish your memories.
I hope a weekend break will help. I would certainly find comfort in these colours, though I would wear taupe instead of dark brown. The weekend bag is so stylish. I’m looking for a replacement for my weekend bag. A lot of luggage these days is so ugly.
Take care of yourself.
Dot, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. My oldest is in law enforcement, so I live with the fear of this possibility and pray constantly for their protection. I am praying for you right now. I do hope a wardrobe change can at least give you something positive to focus on as well as an emotional lift.
Sending love, Janice. I hope that, like our heroine, you are being gentle with yourself and doing what you need to get through this terrible time.